Banda's Sparkle

Olives & Sheep

2007-11-01T16:42:00.000-07:00

Olives & Sheep

You must mean something.
I gave you an olive.

You must mean something.
I gave ewe a sheep.

You must mean something.
You must be special.

I must be dreaming.
I must have fell asleep.

Game

2007-10-29T17:58:00.000-07:00

Game

What is this game you play?
I tried to play along.
Now I'm more confused
Then when the game begun!

I pulled out all my best tricks
And I read all the signs.
I ignored my heart's whispers.
I tried to read your mind.

But in the dawn's new light
Your secrets were revealed.
What the hell had I been thinking?
How stupid I should feel!

Have You?

2007-10-26T04:38:00.000-07:00

Have You?

Has it ever made you mad
When someone melts your heart?
Has it ever pissed you off
When the butterfly tumbles start?
Have you ever tried to push them
To the very back of your mind
Just to have them come right back
And hit you from behind?

Have you ever loved your hate
And hated all your love?
Has it ever made you question
God´s planning from above?
Has it ever hurt you badly
When you try to let them in?
Have you ever felt so lost
You don´t know your own skin?

Never Tell

2007-10-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

Never Tell

Tiny frame but thick, hard skin
I refuse to let you in.
All my secrets, I'll hide well
And my fears will never tell.
Locked up tight way deep inside
In the shadow, my heart does hide.
Try as you might to let it out
But I won't, there's too much doubt.
If you think you broke my wall
I will just deny it all.

The Moon Cries

2007-10-03T05:22:00.000-07:00

There is something mysterious about the moon, that lures me in and captures my attention at night. I've always loved the moon, but I don't think everyone appreciates it's mystery and beauty the same as I do. Yes, I've been said to "hug the moon." I am a dreamer.

The Moon Cries

The earth's core is your soul

Thriving from you past and growth

Empowered with a layer of success

Held together by a layer of youth

Trapped by a layer of vices

Topped with a thick crust of social appeal

The solemn moon orbits the earth

And tries to light up the night with pride

But by day the moon fades away

As the earth dances in the sunlight

The moon cries sadly, for it is not missed

The rain puddles collect on the earth's surface

So on the days when the rain pours down

And the sun can't quite shine through

Stop the earth for just one minute

Look up at the moon and smile

Dance in the rain - the tears of the moon

Let the moon not be forgotten

Medicine

2007-09-07T12:45:00.000-07:00

This about wraps up my transition over the past year.

Medicine

In the dark cold shadows

the pieces of my broken heart

whisper softly to drink you in.

The medicine creeps so slowly

through my gently flowing blood

and crawls seductively into my skin.

Strange tingles of bursting warmth

filling empty echoing cavities

wake my soundly sleeping soul.

The vibrant sensation quickly becomes

a sweet addiction with never ending

happiness as the goal.

The pieces of my mending heart

are now smiling with glowing grins

stretched from ear to ear.

The intense sun shines softly down

shedding light on the molded pain

and blinding any lingering fear.

Desire

2007-09-06T09:51:00.000-07:00

Don't blush!

Desire

My fingers desire to trace your baby-soft skin up and down your body.
My tongue desires to tease your wet lips and suck your tongue so slow.
My teeth desire to sink deeply into your skin in places of impulse.
My breath desires a consistent repititon of soft moans.
My eyes desire to get lost in your deep brown smile of content.
My legs desire to wrap tightly around your waist, never letting go.
My body desires to be strong enough to give you all you crave.
My heart desires to see you heart skip a beat, replaced by twenty-two.

Best in Me

2007-08-31T09:58:00.000-07:00

For that special man in my life ~ thanks for making me smile.

Best in Me

I think about you all the time.
I know just why you're on my mind.
You're so polite, and so damn sweet.
It shines right through everyone you meet.

I always smile when you're around.
Good times and memories are always found.
You make me laugh. You let me talk.
You let me be whatever I want!

You surround yourself with such great friends,
and are always willing to let me in.
Life's great hardships don't hold you back.
All of life's blessings, you do not lack.

Spending time with you is where I want to be,
Because you bring out the best in me.

Box

2007-08-30T16:51:00.000-07:00

About 10 years ago, someone told me that I put all my guy friends in a box...meaning that I would never date them. And once they are in the box, they can never come back out...meaning once my mind is made up - that's that.

Box

Why won't you get in my box?

Why are you still on my mind?

Why am I humming your song?

Why do I think you're so fine?

Why are you still in my dreams?

Why won't you just go away?

Why won't you get in my box?

Why are you so damn afraid?!

Dan is in my box. John is in there too.

Justin's in my box. Brian's such a fool.

Joey's in my box. He tried to hold my hand.

Jason's in my box. I think he understands.

Andrew's in my box. Wes is in there too.

Everyone is in there. Everyone...but you!

Back Seat

2007-08-29T05:28:00.000-07:00

I've been getting a lot of awesome comments/feedback on postings so far. Seems that a lot of you can relate to stuff I have written. I just wanted to remind everyone that these are all old things I wrote and have never posted until now. This one is based on a dream I had...MUWAHA

Back Seat

You tried to walk away
I wouldn't let you go
I knew what you wanted
Although your words don't show

You picked me up and kissed me
My legs wrapped all around
You laid me on the car hood
What passion we had found

In the back seat of your car
You kissed me in your dreams
Had to put the windows down
To let out all the steam

You whispered in my ear
And clenched onto me tight
Two hot passionate lovers
One late starry night

As the night crept near its end
We knew we couldn't stay
Until next time passion meets
You watched me walk away

Simple

2007-08-28T09:01:00.001-07:00

Simple

You tell me you want me,
But you don't want me.
You think I'm beautiful,
But you won't look my way.
You can't keep your hands off me,
But you won't come near me.
You lure me in with romance,
then push me far away.

What the hell is that about?

Either you want me or you don't.
It's as simple as that.
So don't fucking lead me on,
And expect me not to fall!
Don't tell me that you want me.
Don't come around at all.

Don't text, Don't write, Don't call.

Crept In

2007-08-27T08:35:00.000-07:00

Crept In

You crept in with that sweetheart little smile.
You always made me laugh, but I was in denial.
You opened up my doors, and paid for all my food.
You were the perfect gentleman, so what was I to do?

You danced with me and stole my breath.
I can hardly describe the prints that you left.
You won me over, my heart skips a beat.
I can't wait to see you, every time we meet.

There's only one huge thing that holds me back.
We can't be together, we both know the facts.
Life is cruel and timing's way off.
The world's against my impure thoughts.

As I listen to your soothing song,
I tell myself...I'm moving on.

Witness to my Life

2007-08-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

I had a few people tell me, that they don't date because they are independent and don't need anyone else in their lives. They told me I should do the same. But I beg to differ. God created companionship for a reason. Maybe your companion is your best friend, maybe it's a lover. No matter ~ we all need it to make our lives on earth memorable. I will not be forgotten, thanks to all my witnesses.

Witness to my Life

Existance is invisible without someone to notice.
Accomplishents are worthless without someone to care.
Memories are forgotten when there's no one to remenisce.
Adventures are not exciting without someone to share.

You say that independence is the way to being free?
I don't think you realize that love is the key.
Without someone who loves you, life isn't life at all.
We need a witness to our lives to make it all worth while.

Raise the Stakes

2007-08-24T10:43:00.001-07:00

To all the girls that go for the bad boys. To all you manly men, that are too manly to appreciate when you have something good.

Raise the Stakes

I've always fallen for the bad boys,
I'm just now learning why.
They make me feel good enough
Cuz I never make them cry.

Real tough, Hard core Mama's Boys
Who always get their way.
With power at their finger tips,
No cares what others say.

It's time for me to raise the stakes
Because I need more of a MAN.
I need someone who will listen
And will TRY to understand!

A man who has good advice
And always knows my needs.
And when the time is right
He'll let me take the lead.

I want some one to hold me
And make love to me slow.
I deserve someone who loves me.
Never fails to let me know.

So here's to all the hard core men
That think they own the world.
Try as you might to change your ways,
But you still won't get this girl.

What I Miss

2007-08-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

For all of you out there that have ever broken up with someone, and often think about what it is that you miss about them....this is dedicated to you!

What I Miss

As I sit here and sadly reminisce

I think about you and all I miss...

Your eyes, Your arms

Your whit, Your charm

Your smell, Your smile

Your laugh, Your style

...I miss NONE of that!

And I don't want it back.

Your power, Your toys

Your games, Your boys

Your cooking, Your debt

Your shit, Your 'vette

...I don't miss ANY of it!

You can keep your shit.

Your convo, Your passion

Your habits, Your fashion

Your lies, Your ex

The pain, The sex

...All of that was rough.

You want me back? Well TOUGH!

Time

2007-08-22T06:01:00.000-07:00

Here's a fun one!

Time

Tall and built, your so damn fine.
What I'd do to make you mine.
Skin and hair, so dark and nice.
Deep brown eyes make me look twice.

I want to kiss you, kiss you, kiss you.
I want to hold you, hold you, hold you.
I want you to be mine, all mine.
All it takes is time.
Hell yeah I'll make you mine!

Sweet and suave, your always funny.
Want to paint your bod with honey.
Love that voice, that deep rough tone.
Damn you boy, you turn me on!!!

I want to kiss you, kiss you, kiss you.
I want to hold you, hold you, hold you.
I want you to be mine, all mine.
All it takes is time.
Hell yeah I'll make you mine!

You're Butta

2007-08-21T09:27:00.000-07:00

So, shortly after the separation, my eyes were opened up to a whole new world! Guys started paying attention to me. Chrystal says I make them melt like butter, and can get anything I want because I lure them in with my innocence. This goes out to all my "ego boosters" that told me I'm better off now.

You're Butta

I know that you want me.
You think that I'm damn fine.
Everytime I'm near you,
My body blows your mind.

My southern talk, my sexy walk
My innocent smile, my care-free style
You're butta for me man
Now melt into my hand!

You want to kiss my sweet lips
And pin me on the wall.
To put your arms around my hips
And feel my waist - so small.

My girlish charms, my tiny arms
My so-soft skin, my dimpled grin
You're butta for me man
Now melt into my hand!

Too Fast

2007-08-20T06:23:00.000-07:00

Here is one that describes the emotions and actions I went through during the split. Thanks to my friends and family (especially Chrystal and Mom) for being there for me and helping me through this experience.

Too Fast

Out the door. Break down.
Crying screams. Shake Down.
Comfort me. All alone.
Beg you back. On the phone.
Hate you! WTF!
What to do? You'd better duck!
Fruit and jello. Lost 10 pounds.
Ugly fellow. Don't come around!
Why'd you do it? Stupid ass.
You jumped into it. You moved too fast.

Time went by. I had fun.
Found more guys. What have you done?
Change your mind? It's too late.
Now you find I'm on a date.
You left me. You moved too fast.
Now you see. You stupid ass!

Last Time

2007-08-17T09:52:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I started writing shortly after my separation...thanks to my cousin's suggestion. Words just started pouring out onto paper, and by the time I was done, I didn't even remember writing most of it! I think of them as songs, because I can hear them playing in my head. Some turned out pretty cool! This is one of my first writings. Lots of agression being relieved. :-) It's called:

Last Time

You hurt me for the last time,
I won't let you do it again.
You always made it look innocent,
And I always suckered in.

I think you cheat.
I think you lie.
I think you f*ing suck.
And if you screw with me again,
It's YOUR life I'll f*!

The pretty girls on your PC,
The late nights coming home.
The secrets that you made me keep,
My heart has turned to stone.

So screw your girls,
And screw your lies,
You are so f*ing lame.
You lost the best damn thing to have,
And it's all you to blame.